08 Mar Feeling Full

“Feeling Full”
One family’s reflections on the highs (and lows) of Rice & Beans Month

written by Jen Johnson

Although our family initially seemed excited for the beginning of Rice & Beans Month, it quickly became apparent that our excitement was more about the “idea” of Rice & Beans Month than the actual execution of it. During a meal planning conversation, our seven-year-old’s answer to everything was, “I don’t want to eat that.” Even after talking about the kids in Africa and the sacrifices that would be hard for all of us, her bottom line remained. “I don’t want to eat rice and beans.” Great. March hadn’t even started yet.

The first week was rough. The adjustment did not go well. Some flashes of gratitude, some moments of contentment, but mostly a lot of struggle. We were hungry, and we felt empty. It felt like “Rice & Beans Month” was somehow expanding into “Rice & Beans For An Unpleasant Eternity.”

Thankfully, God was still at work in us.

On March 7, the one-week mark, both girls were offered candy in separate situations. They both declined. No parental influence, just God’s prompting in their hearts. They remembered, and made a hard choice. When our six-year-old told my husband Keith about it, her eyes filled up with tears and she said, “I sacrificed it, Daddy.”

March 8, the recipe I tried for dinner was a flop. Morale was low all the way around the table. The Lahash devotional for that day was exactly what we needed.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

We spent some time talking about why troubles are important in our lives. Our daughter volunteered, “If we never had anything hard happen to us, then pretty soon we would just think we are soooo perfect and great, and we would even think that we don’t need God for anything. We would just think: God? Who needs him?”

The comparison of our “light and momentary troubles” to our eternal rewards was a turning point for us. Yet even with the positive shift at dinner that night, part of me still questioned why we were doing this with our kids. Eating rice and beans is much easier for Keith and me than for them. Many days I just wanted to say, “Never mind! Eat what you want! Enjoy your food! You’re only a child once! You can learn to have compassion for starving vulnerable children some other time. Be comfortable and happy, and for goodness’ sake, have chips in your lunch again!” It would be easier in many ways.

As I examined those thoughts, the words comfortable, happy, and easy jumped out at me. I was humbled to realize what I was doing. I was imagining ways to participate in Rice & Beans Month, and yet combat all the feelings of emptiness and struggle by making adjustments that would keep things comfortable, happy, and easy in my household. I have so much to learn about what it means to follow Jesus.

Some of my best teachers are our brothers and sisters in Africa. They understand what Jesus means when he says, “Come, take up your cross, and follow me.” The idea that the path into joy involves sorrows and hardship is not difficult to grasp. That is the reality of everyday life. They are not pursuing comfort and ease, but basic survival. The gospel’s good news is that they do not have to be alone in those daily struggles, and that there is something to hope for when they reach the end.

I believe that God’s heart is to see all of his children’s basic needs met, so that we are free to heal, grow, and thrive in his extravagant love. I want our friends in Africa to be healthy, well-fed, educated, discipled, and ultimately to struggle less. To participate with God in making that a reality, I have to be willing to struggle more. I will have to turn away from the loud voices shouting empty promises: “Comfortable, happy, and easy! Over here!” I must choose to turn toward the quiet voice of Christ-in-me, inviting me into something far more real and satisfying: struggles that hold the potential to deepen and refine my faith.

Our girls could have taken the candy on March 7. We wouldn’t have brought the hammer down on them for it. They’re kids. It’s hard. There is grace for the learning process. One treat does not render Rice & Beans Month a failure. But because they chose that one small sacrifice, they experienced that “full-heart feeling” that you only get when you finally stop resisting the work God is doing in your heart and just… surrender.

When I follow the leading of Christ-in-me, I experience the way sorrow and struggle is interwoven with joy and victory inside my heart, and within the heart of God. I get to feel his loving embrace as I look up with tears and say, “I sacrificed it, Daddy.” He gets it, and I know it. I share in his ultimate sacrifice in some small way, and it does big things inside me. That deep connection to my Savior will not make my life easier or more comfortable.

It will make my life full.

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Article adapted from Hope Is Alive, a quarterly magazine publication of Lahash International. You can sign-up online to receive this free magazine.